Lunatic Writings Ep. 1
PostPosted: Thu Apr 28, 2011 6:42 am
Claude: The darkness consumes me... it surrounds my very being... i am filled with the stench of my own despair!!
Wilbur: THEN TURN ON THE LIGHT AND FLUSH YOU CRACKING IDIOT!
Claude: Wilbur! i'm trying to compose LITERATURE!
Wilbur: Literature!? it's bad enough that you read too much, now your writing!? *Wilbur mutters to self* What is this world comign too?
Claude: I've had quite enough of your contentious badgering! now leave me alone to me work!
Wilbur: Yes Master of Poets and Philosophers! as you wish! mother wouldn't agree with your attitude you know.
Claude: Leave Mother out of this! we're ...grown men and can descide things on our own!
Wilbur: Then decide to stop wetting the bed, GROWN MAN...
Claude: I HEARD THAT!
Wilbur: well of course you heard it! i'm not exactly whispering now am i!?
*claude walks into room*
Claude:now listen here you...
Wilbur: i have a name you know...
Claude: shut up! now, i am sick and tired of your constant sarcasim!
Wilbur: Only JUST now? i thought that happened years ago....
Claude: there you go again! i'm fed up with it!
Wilbur: then stop eating....
Claude: GAH! i've had it up to here!
Wilbur: up to where exactly? up to the level of your own self importance? or up to the level of your diapers, you big baby?
Claude: OK! THAT'S IT! I'M GOING TO FONG YOU! i regret ever being born your brother!
Wilbur: you're a boy? ..... strange.... now Claude, i can't beleive you'd say that. why if father heard that he'd turn over in hsi grave!
*old raspy voice comes from next room*
Dad: Stop saying that! i'm not dead! Yet!
Wilbur:............
Claude:........... why do i even try?
Wilbur: cause you're an idiot? or maybe its-
Claude: ok! i get it!
Wilbur: just trying to help!
*knock on door*
Claude: i'll get it.
*Claude opens door. young lady stands just outside door*
Claude: Can i help you miss?
Maurice: why yes sir! could you direct me to a mister..... uh.... Wilbur Maxwell?
Claude:...... yes..... Wilbur!
Wilbur: the ladies love me!
Claude: hardly.....
Wilbur: well then, how can i help such an attractive young lady?
Claude: oh spare me....!
Maurice: hello Mr. Maxwell-
Wilbur: please call me Wilbur.
*Maurice blushes a little*
Maurice: ok, W...Wilbur... my name is Maurice Packerton.
Wilbur: A Pleasure Ms. Packerton
Claude: Charmed...
Maurice: Anyway Mr. Maxwell.... i mean, Wilbur. i have been sent here by my employer, Don Andre Le ChanteLeon, Don of the House of Mousier.
Wilbur: did you hear THAT CLaude? a Don!
Claude: i'm not deaf you idiot....
Maurice: my employer requests the precense of one Wilbur Maxwell... that's you...
Claude: nooo.....
Maurice:.... moving on. he invited you to his summer home in the Carribean.
Wilbur: The Carribean! Claude!
Claude: Jolly Good. maybe there will be sharks and a plank.... avast ye hearties!
Wilbur: oh stop it you spoil sport! Now, Miss. Maurice, am i to come alone?
Maurice: oh no! you may bring whoever you like!
Wilbur: whoever i like eh?.... well Claude's out... i don't like him....
Claude: daft....
Wilbur:........ ok! it's decided! inform your employer that i shall arrive at his specified time!.... whenever that may be! me and my faithful though unenthusiastic brother, Claude!
Claude: don't drag me into this!
Wilbur: what! Claude, it'll be fun. you need to get away from this old house.
Claude: i have a job you know....
Wilbur: old man Mortimer can spare you being away from the library long enough for a little vacation right?
Claude: fine.... so when do we meet this employer of yours?
Maurice: you'll need to sail out from London Harbor tomorrow by noon. you'll arrive at the Island in three days.
Claude: Island!?
Wilbur: Ship!?
Maurice: .....
Claude: .......
Wilbur: WHAT!? can't a man be scared of large metal floating things!?
Claude: i don't know you.... I'm just a hobo you let spend the night... daft...
Maurice: well, if that is all Gentlemen, i need to be about my business. good day to you.
Conclusion.
Wilbur: THEN TURN ON THE LIGHT AND FLUSH YOU CRACKING IDIOT!
Claude: Wilbur! i'm trying to compose LITERATURE!
Wilbur: Literature!? it's bad enough that you read too much, now your writing!? *Wilbur mutters to self* What is this world comign too?
Claude: I've had quite enough of your contentious badgering! now leave me alone to me work!
Wilbur: Yes Master of Poets and Philosophers! as you wish! mother wouldn't agree with your attitude you know.
Claude: Leave Mother out of this! we're ...grown men and can descide things on our own!
Wilbur: Then decide to stop wetting the bed, GROWN MAN...
Claude: I HEARD THAT!
Wilbur: well of course you heard it! i'm not exactly whispering now am i!?
*claude walks into room*
Claude:now listen here you...
Wilbur: i have a name you know...
Claude: shut up! now, i am sick and tired of your constant sarcasim!
Wilbur: Only JUST now? i thought that happened years ago....
Claude: there you go again! i'm fed up with it!
Wilbur: then stop eating....
Claude: GAH! i've had it up to here!
Wilbur: up to where exactly? up to the level of your own self importance? or up to the level of your diapers, you big baby?
Claude: OK! THAT'S IT! I'M GOING TO FONG YOU! i regret ever being born your brother!
Wilbur: you're a boy? ..... strange.... now Claude, i can't beleive you'd say that. why if father heard that he'd turn over in hsi grave!
*old raspy voice comes from next room*
Dad: Stop saying that! i'm not dead! Yet!
Wilbur:............
Claude:........... why do i even try?
Wilbur: cause you're an idiot? or maybe its-
Claude: ok! i get it!
Wilbur: just trying to help!
*knock on door*
Claude: i'll get it.
*Claude opens door. young lady stands just outside door*
Claude: Can i help you miss?
Maurice: why yes sir! could you direct me to a mister..... uh.... Wilbur Maxwell?
Claude:...... yes..... Wilbur!
Wilbur: the ladies love me!
Claude: hardly.....
Wilbur: well then, how can i help such an attractive young lady?
Claude: oh spare me....!
Maurice: hello Mr. Maxwell-
Wilbur: please call me Wilbur.
*Maurice blushes a little*
Maurice: ok, W...Wilbur... my name is Maurice Packerton.
Wilbur: A Pleasure Ms. Packerton
Claude: Charmed...
Maurice: Anyway Mr. Maxwell.... i mean, Wilbur. i have been sent here by my employer, Don Andre Le ChanteLeon, Don of the House of Mousier.
Wilbur: did you hear THAT CLaude? a Don!
Claude: i'm not deaf you idiot....
Maurice: my employer requests the precense of one Wilbur Maxwell... that's you...
Claude: nooo.....
Maurice:.... moving on. he invited you to his summer home in the Carribean.
Wilbur: The Carribean! Claude!
Claude: Jolly Good. maybe there will be sharks and a plank.... avast ye hearties!
Wilbur: oh stop it you spoil sport! Now, Miss. Maurice, am i to come alone?
Maurice: oh no! you may bring whoever you like!
Wilbur: whoever i like eh?.... well Claude's out... i don't like him....
Claude: daft....
Wilbur:........ ok! it's decided! inform your employer that i shall arrive at his specified time!.... whenever that may be! me and my faithful though unenthusiastic brother, Claude!
Claude: don't drag me into this!
Wilbur: what! Claude, it'll be fun. you need to get away from this old house.
Claude: i have a job you know....
Wilbur: old man Mortimer can spare you being away from the library long enough for a little vacation right?
Claude: fine.... so when do we meet this employer of yours?
Maurice: you'll need to sail out from London Harbor tomorrow by noon. you'll arrive at the Island in three days.
Claude: Island!?
Wilbur: Ship!?
Maurice: .....
Claude: .......
Wilbur: WHAT!? can't a man be scared of large metal floating things!?
Claude: i don't know you.... I'm just a hobo you let spend the night... daft...
Maurice: well, if that is all Gentlemen, i need to be about my business. good day to you.
Conclusion.