Paris

Calling all self-proclaimed mangaka!

Postby Mave » Sun Feb 19, 2006 4:13 pm

Hehe, yeah sometimes I wonder how long it'll be before I complete KCome too. You have a lot more time than I do when it comes to marrying and having children. :eh:
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Postby mai » Tue Feb 28, 2006 6:31 am

I think the perfect # of childrin is 0, lol

Added pages 24 and 25
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Postby Syreth » Tue Feb 28, 2006 10:17 pm

I have the same problem! After I FINALLY finish Kardia, it's on to two more larger projects. I think I'm hooked on doing comics for life.

I think the perfect # of childrin is 0, lol


Aww, maybe you'll change your mind in a few years.

The new stuff looks really good. I like the depth of the statements in the last page (the story and the art have a lot of depth as well). Very nice!
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Postby mai » Fri Mar 10, 2006 6:56 pm

Syreth wrote:Aww, maybe you'll change your mind in a few years.


Maybe... some day x_x

Added pages 26 and 27
27 turned out very white, I thought it would look fine but I think it just looks unfinished.

Thanks for the comments!

Paris is going to focus alot on what was said on page 25.
I want to show how much pain keeping your feelings a secret can cause and the regret that comes when you relize it could have been avoided.
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Postby Kaori » Sun Mar 12, 2006 5:28 pm

I liked the way you drew the tree in pages 22 and following. The branches in the background on page 24, with the hearts and skull hanging from them, were beautiful, even though I wasn’t sure why they were there.

I particularly liked page 23 for its beautiful, well thought-out composition (especially the top half of the page). The complexity and overlapping elements were used very well on this page, although some of your simpler pages have also been well-composed (page 19, for example).

As a general note, the pencil shading (if that’s what it is) in the characters’ faces looks nice; I like it better than the old flat gray you were using for Auster’s face. However, in page 27 his skin seems nearly as dark as Auster’s in the bottom panel. In the rest of the comic, my impression was that Auster’s skin was significantly darker and that Paris was fairly pale, so this was a bit confusing.

Syreth wrote:I like the depth of the statements in the last page (the story and the art have a lot of depth as well).

Yes; I also thought that page 25 was very nice. As always, I look forward to reading more.
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Postby mai » Sat May 27, 2006 8:38 am

Thank you Kaori!
Paris is paler then Auster, sorry about the confusion, I got a little to carried away with shading -_-

I’m redrawing the first three pages of Paris and adding some new ones aswell. The first page of five is up.
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Postby Kaori » Sat Jun 03, 2006 6:40 pm

Ah, good--I had been wondering when we would get to see more of this.

As always, I like the dense texture of your artwork (in the new page 1). The cobweb-like effect in the trees is a nice touch, and the character with the eyepatch looks beautiful.

The upper right-hand panel in this page gave me some pause; there is enough space around the lips that I would expect to be able to see a little bit of the jawline in the lower left corner, so I was slightly puzzled by not seeing anything else of the face other than the lips.

Are you planning on getting rid of the old page 1 (001) also? I can tell by looking back at some of the old pages that your artwork has improved, but this particular one seems like it might be retaining in some fashion. (If you do take it out of the comic, maybe you could post it in the "art" section of your webpage.)
Let others believe in the God who brings men to trial and judges them. I shall cling to the God who resurrects the dead.
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Postby mai » Thu Jun 15, 2006 4:48 pm

Thanks again ^-^
Your right, her jaw should be showing, I'll try to fix that...
The main reason I'm redoing the pages is because the story has changed. I do like page 001, I'll add it to the art section.

Added pages 2,3 and 28
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Postby mai » Sat Jul 29, 2006 7:44 pm

I'm going to re-draw Paris, all of it. I just wasn't happy with the way the characters were introduced. So, now there are only 7 pages up. Also I'm going to try to update every sunday evening with something [hopefully a new page]
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Postby mai » Sun Jul 30, 2006 3:31 pm

added page 8
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Postby mai » Sun Aug 06, 2006 7:32 am

added pages 9 and 10
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Postby Esoteric » Sun Aug 06, 2006 12:36 pm

Yes, very nice art style, very loose and scribbly. It feels very dynamic.
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Postby Kaori » Fri Aug 11, 2006 5:07 pm

With the suggestion that Paris should be at an asylum, the story in the first few pages is definitely reminiscent of Bizenghast.

The size of the aunt's neck in the middle panel of page seven seems a bit small compared to her head, but as usual, I still enjoy your art style.

I liked the detailed drawings of eyes on pages seven and eight; the bottom panel of page seven is particularly nice. The paper texture on pages six and seven is also interesting.
Let others believe in the God who brings men to trial and judges them. I shall cling to the God who resurrects the dead.
-St. Nikolai Velimirovich

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Postby soul alive » Fri Aug 11, 2006 7:11 pm

You have a very lovely art style, it really compliments the story. It's intriguing to see the changes you are making as you redraw the story.

(There are some typos throughout, I don't know how easily you can fix them, though. If you'd like editing help, I'd be glad to lend a hand.)
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Postby Mave » Sat Aug 12, 2006 6:33 am

Wow...you're redrawing all the pages?

It's looking awesome! :D
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Postby mai » Sun Aug 13, 2006 9:01 am

Thank you!
Hopefully it doesn't seem too much like Bizenghast ^-^;
It's pretty easy for me to correct the spelling so just let me know what is misspelled if it’s not too much trouble. I fixed a few words already on page 7 and 8.
Thanks again for reading ^-^
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Postby soul alive » Sun Aug 13, 2006 11:07 am

Looks like you already fixed everything I had seen misspelled. :thumb:
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Postby mai » Mon Aug 14, 2006 11:53 am

Great ^-^
Added page 11
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Postby mai » Mon Aug 21, 2006 7:56 am

Added pages 12 and 13
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Do you find your self worried alot of the time about things that don't always make sense?


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Postby mai » Wed Aug 23, 2006 9:15 am

Added page 14
The ink spatters are intentional. Just so you know, Paris isn't spitting in the last panel -_-;
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Postby Mave » Wed Aug 23, 2006 7:06 pm

Pg 14 - Don't worry, I didn't think of that at all. XD

I feel the panels are flowing more smoothly and I have a clearer idea of what's going on this time. :grin: Great work!
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Postby mai » Wed Aug 30, 2006 7:16 pm

Thank you!
Glad you didn't think he was spitting ^-^

Not related to Paris, I've added a few more comics. They are either pencil or pen with no pencil draft, so it takes less time to complete a page.
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Postby mai » Sun Sep 10, 2006 6:03 pm

Added pages 15 and 16
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Postby mai » Wed Sep 20, 2006 8:15 am

added page 17
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Do you find your self worried alot of the time about things that don't always make sense?


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Postby mai » Tue Oct 24, 2006 6:49 pm

Added page 18. I'll try to update again in a few days!
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• Guilt, low self-esteem, feelings of worthlessness
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Postby That Dude » Wed Oct 25, 2006 2:29 pm

I'm liking what I've seen so far. You've definately been blessed with artistic talent. I wish that I was as good at paneling as you are.
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Postby Mave » Sat Oct 28, 2006 4:29 am

I'm loving the panels and lineart! XD I'm looking forward to seeing what happens with the issue of the inheritance. :thumb:
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Postby mai » Sat Nov 04, 2006 7:46 am

:hug: Thank you both!
Added pages 19 and 20
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Do you find your self worried alot of the time about things that don't always make sense?


Are you experiencing any of these?
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• Guilt, low self-esteem, feelings of worthlessness
• Inability to concentrate and poor memory
• Loss of motivation
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• Withdrawal from relationships, anti-social behavior
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If you have a few of the symptoms on this list, you may be suffering from a form of clinical depression there are many sites that offer advice and help.
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Postby Kaori » Sun Nov 05, 2006 5:02 pm

It seems that I haven't commented in quite a while; I apologize.

On page sixteen, there are a few errors: there should be an apostrophe in "father's property" at the top of the letter, and the last sentence should read "enclosed" instead of "inclosed."

I really loved the density of the plants and building in the right-hand panel on page 17, and the expression on Paris's face at the bottom was also very nice. Similarly, in page 18, you do a great job with textures, like the inside of the suitcase. I also thought that the expression in the eyes in the bottom panel of this page was very well done.

In general, the plot seems clearer this time around, especially when we are allowed to read the letter that Paris is given. Page 20, with the arrival of what seems to be a new character, was a bit confusing, but presumably things will become clearer in the next few pages.
Let others believe in the God who brings men to trial and judges them. I shall cling to the God who resurrects the dead.
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Postby mai » Wed Nov 29, 2006 4:48 pm

Thanks Kaori, I'll fix the errors when I edit the chapter.
The new character, Paris' uncle, did appear rather abruptly. Maybe I'll add another page before 20.

Thank you for reading ^-^
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Do you find your self worried alot of the time about things that don't always make sense?


Are you experiencing any of these?
• Persistent feelings of sadness, irritability or anxiety
• Overreaction to irritations
• Loss of interest in activities previously enjoyed,
• Sleep too much, or sleep too little
• Unexpected loss or gain of weight
• Tiredness or restlessness
• Slowed movement, thought and/or speech
• Guilt, low self-esteem, feelings of worthlessness
• Inability to concentrate and poor memory
• Loss of motivation
• Feelings of hopelessness
• Suicidal thoughts and/or behavior
• Withdrawal from relationships, anti-social behavior
• Physical aches and pains that seem to have no other cause

If you have a few of the symptoms on this list, you may be suffering from a form of clinical depression there are many sites that offer advice and help.
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