The CAA Vending Machine

Spawned by the randomness of the general board, here are the threads where you can do fun, pointless things. You may test the forum's features and make signature or avatar requests. Posts made here do not go towards your post count.

Re: The CAA Vending Machine

Postby Abassi » Sat Apr 21, 2018 8:44 pm

You receive a terribly interesting contract. Hey! Stop reading that!

*inserts the Old Times*
User avatar
Abassi
 
Posts: 26
Joined: Wed Aug 02, 2006 4:39 pm
Location: In the Past

Re: The CAA Vending Machine

Postby AdriTan » Mon Apr 23, 2018 6:19 pm

The vending machine gives you it's Myspace account complete with an old picture of itself before it was full of silly things.

*inserts a CD from the 80s Christian rock band, Petra*
User avatar
AdriTan
 
Posts: 474
Joined: Fri Dec 17, 2010 9:18 am
Location: Alaska

Re: The CAA Vending Machine

Postby Abassi » Mon Apr 23, 2018 7:25 pm

(Myspace!? The horror...the horror...)

You receive a fairly enjoyable experience, and a note reminding you that this is a vending machine, not a Jukebox! Or is it a Jukebox? A juice box? No, nobody likes those, if you put the straw in wrong they explode.

*inserts the Real Old Times*
User avatar
Abassi
 
Posts: 26
Joined: Wed Aug 02, 2006 4:39 pm
Location: In the Past

Re: The CAA Vending Machine

Postby SierraLea » Tue Apr 24, 2018 9:16 am

The machine swallowed the Old Times and refuses to give you anything back. You kick it and finally get shredded paper and an electrical wire. Let's hope you didn't break it!

Insert Massively oversized socks.
"I tell you, if they keep quiet, the stones will cry out." (Luke 19:37-40).
Exceptionally Ordinary
"No one ever made a difference by being like everyone else." P.T.Barnam
User avatar
SierraLea
 
Posts: 1255
Joined: Sat Mar 10, 2012 7:57 am
Location: the epitome of laugher

Re: The CAA Vending Machine

Postby Abassi » Tue Apr 24, 2018 11:08 am

You must work vigorously to fit the socks into the slot but finally, success! You receive an octopus with roller skates.

*inserts the Dead Times and a Muppet Treasure Island reference*
User avatar
Abassi
 
Posts: 26
Joined: Wed Aug 02, 2006 4:39 pm
Location: In the Past

Re: The CAA Vending Machine

Postby AdriTan » Tue Apr 24, 2018 4:17 pm

You receive a hug from Big Fat Ugly Bug-Faced Baby-Eating O'Brien.

*inserts peg leg and Treasure Planet reference*
User avatar
AdriTan
 
Posts: 474
Joined: Fri Dec 17, 2010 9:18 am
Location: Alaska

Re: The CAA Vending Machine

Postby Abassi » Tue Apr 24, 2018 6:49 pm

You receive a solar-surfboard and also some splinters. Yar.

*inserts 1d20*
User avatar
Abassi
 
Posts: 26
Joined: Wed Aug 02, 2006 4:39 pm
Location: In the Past

Re: The CAA Vending Machine

Postby AdriTan » Fri Apr 27, 2018 4:51 pm

You receive a....... bard. Have fun being serenaded.

*inserts 2d10*
User avatar
AdriTan
 
Posts: 474
Joined: Fri Dec 17, 2010 9:18 am
Location: Alaska

Re: The CAA Vending Machine

Postby SierraLea » Sat Apr 28, 2018 4:19 pm

You receive the Reality Stone. Careful it doesn't destroy the world!

Insert coupon for free french bread
"I tell you, if they keep quiet, the stones will cry out." (Luke 19:37-40).
Exceptionally Ordinary
"No one ever made a difference by being like everyone else." P.T.Barnam
User avatar
SierraLea
 
Posts: 1255
Joined: Sat Mar 10, 2012 7:57 am
Location: the epitome of laugher

Re: The CAA Vending Machine

Postby Abassi » Tue May 01, 2018 4:46 pm

You receive a loaf of french bread, but it isn't really yours you know, it's free! Free to live it's own life, to mold in its own time! Voila, that's life, enjoy it!

*inserts a grue*
User avatar
Abassi
 
Posts: 26
Joined: Wed Aug 02, 2006 4:39 pm
Location: In the Past

Re: The CAA Vending Machine

Postby SierraLea » Tue May 01, 2018 8:16 pm

Receives a dictionary.
Inserts trashy romance novel.
"I tell you, if they keep quiet, the stones will cry out." (Luke 19:37-40).
Exceptionally Ordinary
"No one ever made a difference by being like everyone else." P.T.Barnam
User avatar
SierraLea
 
Posts: 1255
Joined: Sat Mar 10, 2012 7:57 am
Location: the epitome of laugher

Re: The CAA Vending Machine

Postby Abassi » Fri May 04, 2018 3:25 pm

The vending machine disposes of the 'novel' and issues you the collected works of H. G. Wells, Jules Verne, and Robert Louis Stevenson.

*inserts the three laws of robotics*
User avatar
Abassi
 
Posts: 26
Joined: Wed Aug 02, 2006 4:39 pm
Location: In the Past

Re: The CAA Vending Machine

Postby SierraLea » Sat May 05, 2018 7:53 pm

Receives Astro Boy. I'll leave you to determine whether or not you got your item's worth.

Insert Star Wars Day,
"I tell you, if they keep quiet, the stones will cry out." (Luke 19:37-40).
Exceptionally Ordinary
"No one ever made a difference by being like everyone else." P.T.Barnam
User avatar
SierraLea
 
Posts: 1255
Joined: Sat Mar 10, 2012 7:57 am
Location: the epitome of laugher

Re: The CAA Vending Machine

Postby Abassi » Sun May 06, 2018 8:23 pm

You receive Groundhog Day!

*inserts a cog*
User avatar
Abassi
 
Posts: 26
Joined: Wed Aug 02, 2006 4:39 pm
Location: In the Past

Re: The CAA Vending Machine

Postby SierraLea » Mon May 07, 2018 8:51 am

Receive a pocket watch.

Insert sand with a dash of sunshine.
"I tell you, if they keep quiet, the stones will cry out." (Luke 19:37-40).
Exceptionally Ordinary
"No one ever made a difference by being like everyone else." P.T.Barnam
User avatar
SierraLea
 
Posts: 1255
Joined: Sat Mar 10, 2012 7:57 am
Location: the epitome of laugher

Re: The CAA Vending Machine

Postby Abassi » Tue May 08, 2018 7:20 pm

You receive rain with a dash of old brine, it's nonsensical but hey, it kinda rhymes!

*inserts a conceptual project*
User avatar
Abassi
 
Posts: 26
Joined: Wed Aug 02, 2006 4:39 pm
Location: In the Past

Re: The CAA Vending Machine

Postby SierraLea » Tue May 08, 2018 10:13 pm

receives a failing grade because it never got past the concept.
Inserts painful burping.
"I tell you, if they keep quiet, the stones will cry out." (Luke 19:37-40).
Exceptionally Ordinary
"No one ever made a difference by being like everyone else." P.T.Barnam
User avatar
SierraLea
 
Posts: 1255
Joined: Sat Mar 10, 2012 7:57 am
Location: the epitome of laugher

Re: The CAA Vending Machine

Postby Abassi » Fri Jun 15, 2018 8:03 pm

You receive a watch equipped with a time machine. Quickly now, you must travel backward and acquire a fizzy drink, if you fail to do so this time stream may be compromised!

*inserts a cautionary note regarding Morlocks*
User avatar
Abassi
 
Posts: 26
Joined: Wed Aug 02, 2006 4:39 pm
Location: In the Past

Re: The CAA Vending Machine

Postby SierraLea » Fri Jun 15, 2018 8:26 pm

Thank you for making me look that up! It's a good thing I received brain bleach.
Insert the Hero of a Thousand Faces.
"I tell you, if they keep quiet, the stones will cry out." (Luke 19:37-40).
Exceptionally Ordinary
"No one ever made a difference by being like everyone else." P.T.Barnam
User avatar
SierraLea
 
Posts: 1255
Joined: Sat Mar 10, 2012 7:57 am
Location: the epitome of laugher

Re: The CAA Vending Machine

Postby Abassi » Mon Jun 25, 2018 11:00 pm

To be fair, you can't be worse off than the poor children who were terrified by the Morlocks in that one Wishbone episode. Ah, Wishbone, good times...sometimes terrifying, but good.

For your thousand faces you receive a thing of three facets, that is to say, a Sampo.

*inserts false coinage*
User avatar
Abassi
 
Posts: 26
Joined: Wed Aug 02, 2006 4:39 pm
Location: In the Past

Re: The CAA Vending Machine

Postby SierraLea » Wed Jul 04, 2018 3:39 pm

Receive three dollar diamond.

Inserts weeping rock.
"I tell you, if they keep quiet, the stones will cry out." (Luke 19:37-40).
Exceptionally Ordinary
"No one ever made a difference by being like everyone else." P.T.Barnam
User avatar
SierraLea
 
Posts: 1255
Joined: Sat Mar 10, 2012 7:57 am
Location: the epitome of laugher

Re: The CAA Vending Machine

Postby Abassi » Sun Jul 08, 2018 3:14 am

You receive a DVD that claims to be from some sort of physician. Don't sneeze. Wait, is that right? Yeah, sure. It's probably fine.

*inserts a highly unusual animal and instructions related to its home address*
User avatar
Abassi
 
Posts: 26
Joined: Wed Aug 02, 2006 4:39 pm
Location: In the Past

Re: The CAA Vending Machine

Postby SierraLea » Sun Jul 08, 2018 10:03 am

And I receive a green, furry crump. Aw, the two tails are adorable.
Inserts the most difficult and breathtaking hike in the lower United States.
"I tell you, if they keep quiet, the stones will cry out." (Luke 19:37-40).
Exceptionally Ordinary
"No one ever made a difference by being like everyone else." P.T.Barnam
User avatar
SierraLea
 
Posts: 1255
Joined: Sat Mar 10, 2012 7:57 am
Location: the epitome of laugher

Re: The CAA Vending Machine

Postby Abassi » Mon Jul 16, 2018 12:29 am

You receive an ordinary pickle. Odd, but there you have it.

*inserts 75 cents and a formal request regarding the weather*
User avatar
Abassi
 
Posts: 26
Joined: Wed Aug 02, 2006 4:39 pm
Location: In the Past

Re: The CAA Vending Machine

Postby SierraLea » Mon Jul 16, 2018 6:45 am

Receives a sky equally split between sunshine and rain. Hey, I've seen it happen.
Inserts bag of skittles.
"I tell you, if they keep quiet, the stones will cry out." (Luke 19:37-40).
Exceptionally Ordinary
"No one ever made a difference by being like everyone else." P.T.Barnam
User avatar
SierraLea
 
Posts: 1255
Joined: Sat Mar 10, 2012 7:57 am
Location: the epitome of laugher

Re: The CAA Vending Machine

Postby Abassi » Mon Jul 16, 2018 1:52 pm

Shocked by this turn of events, the Vending Machine refunds you 50 cents.

*inserts insomnia*
User avatar
Abassi
 
Posts: 26
Joined: Wed Aug 02, 2006 4:39 pm
Location: In the Past

Re: The CAA Vending Machine

Postby SierraLea » Mon Jul 16, 2018 5:31 pm

receives a weird dream involving a Dr. Seuss-themed parade. I've had both in the past week, dude. Pregnancy does weird things with your sleep.

Inserts two right flip flops.
"I tell you, if they keep quiet, the stones will cry out." (Luke 19:37-40).
Exceptionally Ordinary
"No one ever made a difference by being like everyone else." P.T.Barnam
User avatar
SierraLea
 
Posts: 1255
Joined: Sat Mar 10, 2012 7:57 am
Location: the epitome of laugher

Re: The CAA Vending Machine

Postby Abassi » Mon Jul 16, 2018 8:40 pm

You receive one left ear, which it is possible to exchange for four middle eyes, assuming you find the correct sort of trader.

*inserts a wad of cat fur*
User avatar
Abassi
 
Posts: 26
Joined: Wed Aug 02, 2006 4:39 pm
Location: In the Past

Re: The CAA Vending Machine

Postby SierraLea » Tue Jul 17, 2018 7:39 am

Receives a wolf pelt, complete with ears, claws, and muzzle. Better check if it's still breathing.

Inserts one floral-patterned sundress
"I tell you, if they keep quiet, the stones will cry out." (Luke 19:37-40).
Exceptionally Ordinary
"No one ever made a difference by being like everyone else." P.T.Barnam
User avatar
SierraLea
 
Posts: 1255
Joined: Sat Mar 10, 2012 7:57 am
Location: the epitome of laugher

Re: The CAA Vending Machine

Postby Abassi » Tue Jul 17, 2018 9:57 pm

You receive an edible book of flowers. The cover is especially delicious.

*inserts a chunk of ice*
User avatar
Abassi
 
Posts: 26
Joined: Wed Aug 02, 2006 4:39 pm
Location: In the Past

Previous Next

Return to Goof Off and Testing

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 189 guests