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Re: The CAA Vending Machine

PostPosted: Sat Apr 21, 2018 8:44 pm
by Abassi
You receive a terribly interesting contract. Hey! Stop reading that!

*inserts the Old Times*

Re: The CAA Vending Machine

PostPosted: Mon Apr 23, 2018 6:19 pm
by AdriTan
The vending machine gives you it's Myspace account complete with an old picture of itself before it was full of silly things.

*inserts a CD from the 80s Christian rock band, Petra*

Re: The CAA Vending Machine

PostPosted: Mon Apr 23, 2018 7:25 pm
by Abassi
(Myspace!? The horror...the horror...)

You receive a fairly enjoyable experience, and a note reminding you that this is a vending machine, not a Jukebox! Or is it a Jukebox? A juice box? No, nobody likes those, if you put the straw in wrong they explode.

*inserts the Real Old Times*

Re: The CAA Vending Machine

PostPosted: Tue Apr 24, 2018 9:16 am
by SierraLea
The machine swallowed the Old Times and refuses to give you anything back. You kick it and finally get shredded paper and an electrical wire. Let's hope you didn't break it!

Insert Massively oversized socks.

Re: The CAA Vending Machine

PostPosted: Tue Apr 24, 2018 11:08 am
by Abassi
You must work vigorously to fit the socks into the slot but finally, success! You receive an octopus with roller skates.

*inserts the Dead Times and a Muppet Treasure Island reference*

Re: The CAA Vending Machine

PostPosted: Tue Apr 24, 2018 4:17 pm
by AdriTan
You receive a hug from Big Fat Ugly Bug-Faced Baby-Eating O'Brien.

*inserts peg leg and Treasure Planet reference*

Re: The CAA Vending Machine

PostPosted: Tue Apr 24, 2018 6:49 pm
by Abassi
You receive a solar-surfboard and also some splinters. Yar.

*inserts 1d20*

Re: The CAA Vending Machine

PostPosted: Fri Apr 27, 2018 4:51 pm
by AdriTan
You receive a....... bard. Have fun being serenaded.

*inserts 2d10*

Re: The CAA Vending Machine

PostPosted: Sat Apr 28, 2018 4:19 pm
by SierraLea
You receive the Reality Stone. Careful it doesn't destroy the world!

Insert coupon for free french bread

Re: The CAA Vending Machine

PostPosted: Tue May 01, 2018 4:46 pm
by Abassi
You receive a loaf of french bread, but it isn't really yours you know, it's free! Free to live it's own life, to mold in its own time! Voila, that's life, enjoy it!

*inserts a grue*

Re: The CAA Vending Machine

PostPosted: Tue May 01, 2018 8:16 pm
by SierraLea
Receives a dictionary.
Inserts trashy romance novel.

Re: The CAA Vending Machine

PostPosted: Fri May 04, 2018 3:25 pm
by Abassi
The vending machine disposes of the 'novel' and issues you the collected works of H. G. Wells, Jules Verne, and Robert Louis Stevenson.

*inserts the three laws of robotics*

Re: The CAA Vending Machine

PostPosted: Sat May 05, 2018 7:53 pm
by SierraLea
Receives Astro Boy. I'll leave you to determine whether or not you got your item's worth.

Insert Star Wars Day,

Re: The CAA Vending Machine

PostPosted: Sun May 06, 2018 8:23 pm
by Abassi
You receive Groundhog Day!

*inserts a cog*

Re: The CAA Vending Machine

PostPosted: Mon May 07, 2018 8:51 am
by SierraLea
Receive a pocket watch.

Insert sand with a dash of sunshine.

Re: The CAA Vending Machine

PostPosted: Tue May 08, 2018 7:20 pm
by Abassi
You receive rain with a dash of old brine, it's nonsensical but hey, it kinda rhymes!

*inserts a conceptual project*

Re: The CAA Vending Machine

PostPosted: Tue May 08, 2018 10:13 pm
by SierraLea
receives a failing grade because it never got past the concept.
Inserts painful burping.

Re: The CAA Vending Machine

PostPosted: Fri Jun 15, 2018 8:03 pm
by Abassi
You receive a watch equipped with a time machine. Quickly now, you must travel backward and acquire a fizzy drink, if you fail to do so this time stream may be compromised!

*inserts a cautionary note regarding Morlocks*

Re: The CAA Vending Machine

PostPosted: Fri Jun 15, 2018 8:26 pm
by SierraLea
Thank you for making me look that up! It's a good thing I received brain bleach.
Insert the Hero of a Thousand Faces.

Re: The CAA Vending Machine

PostPosted: Mon Jun 25, 2018 11:00 pm
by Abassi
To be fair, you can't be worse off than the poor children who were terrified by the Morlocks in that one Wishbone episode. Ah, Wishbone, good times...sometimes terrifying, but good.

For your thousand faces you receive a thing of three facets, that is to say, a Sampo.

*inserts false coinage*

Re: The CAA Vending Machine

PostPosted: Wed Jul 04, 2018 3:39 pm
by SierraLea
Receive three dollar diamond.

Inserts weeping rock.

Re: The CAA Vending Machine

PostPosted: Sun Jul 08, 2018 3:14 am
by Abassi
You receive a DVD that claims to be from some sort of physician. Don't sneeze. Wait, is that right? Yeah, sure. It's probably fine.

*inserts a highly unusual animal and instructions related to its home address*

Re: The CAA Vending Machine

PostPosted: Sun Jul 08, 2018 10:03 am
by SierraLea
And I receive a green, furry crump. Aw, the two tails are adorable.
Inserts the most difficult and breathtaking hike in the lower United States.

Re: The CAA Vending Machine

PostPosted: Mon Jul 16, 2018 12:29 am
by Abassi
You receive an ordinary pickle. Odd, but there you have it.

*inserts 75 cents and a formal request regarding the weather*

Re: The CAA Vending Machine

PostPosted: Mon Jul 16, 2018 6:45 am
by SierraLea
Receives a sky equally split between sunshine and rain. Hey, I've seen it happen.
Inserts bag of skittles.

Re: The CAA Vending Machine

PostPosted: Mon Jul 16, 2018 1:52 pm
by Abassi
Shocked by this turn of events, the Vending Machine refunds you 50 cents.

*inserts insomnia*

Re: The CAA Vending Machine

PostPosted: Mon Jul 16, 2018 5:31 pm
by SierraLea
receives a weird dream involving a Dr. Seuss-themed parade. I've had both in the past week, dude. Pregnancy does weird things with your sleep.

Inserts two right flip flops.

Re: The CAA Vending Machine

PostPosted: Mon Jul 16, 2018 8:40 pm
by Abassi
You receive one left ear, which it is possible to exchange for four middle eyes, assuming you find the correct sort of trader.

*inserts a wad of cat fur*

Re: The CAA Vending Machine

PostPosted: Tue Jul 17, 2018 7:39 am
by SierraLea
Receives a wolf pelt, complete with ears, claws, and muzzle. Better check if it's still breathing.

Inserts one floral-patterned sundress

Re: The CAA Vending Machine

PostPosted: Tue Jul 17, 2018 9:57 pm
by Abassi
You receive an edible book of flowers. The cover is especially delicious.

*inserts a chunk of ice*