Temptation-A Poem (bear with me its really long)

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Temptation-A Poem (bear with me its really long)

Postby airichan623 » Sun Jun 20, 2010 10:36 pm

Tempation

The darkness surrounds me
As I walk in light.
Something stalks behind me
Its shadow walks ahead
I see the shadow alone
The shape of a demon
Horrible and grotesque.
Its stench precedes it
I wretch and flee.
The shadow pursues
Fear presses in
Suddenly, the smell vanishes
Replaced by sweet fragrances.
I stop, surprised
I glance toward the shadow
Back to its origin.

A lonely child stands
Covered in filth and grime
Looking for a playmate
Wide and unthreatening eyes
Trembling mouth
Curious eyes staring
It laughs.

Disarmingly grinning,
It beckons to me.
“Come play,â€
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[color="Magenta"][SIZE="4"]愛理ちゃん六二三[/SIZE][/color]

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Postby Seto_Sora » Sun Jun 20, 2010 10:47 pm

Very good! I like the style and imagery! Very good poetry! Keep writing, and about spiritual struggle! From thence, you will never want of subject matter!

SDG
This

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Postby airichan623 » Sun Jun 20, 2010 10:48 pm

A PS i didnt know if I could fit in the same post:

This poem came to my as I thought about the lyrics of Flyleaf's Beautiful Bride CD: especially "Chasm" and "In the Dark."

A little more background: though the child and the Christian in the poem is mostly a picture of temptation, its also a picture of a friend of mine and myself. I reached out to her, because she was deep in sin. But, I knew she had to come to the Way herself. If I went out, I may have been dragged into her sin as well. For more on that see my Prayer Request Thread.
--
Any critiques for my poem of pondering? ^^
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[color="Magenta"][SIZE="4"]愛理ちゃん六二三[/SIZE][/color]

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Postby airichan623 » Mon Jun 21, 2010 11:33 pm

PatrickEklektos (post: 1402619) wrote:Very good! I like the style and imagery! Very good poetry! Keep writing, and about spiritual struggle! From thence, you will never want of subject matter!

SDG
thank you very much!
Image

[color="Magenta"][SIZE="4"]愛理ちゃん六二三[/SIZE][/color]

DeviantArt[color="DeepSkyBlue"]~[/color]MAL[color="DeepSkyBlue"]~[/color]Tumblr
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