Have you successfully published works in the past? If not, a webcomic might be the best way after all to get started quickly. You can write to other webcomic authors for advertising tips and such - Google ads seem to be common enough, so they might be worth a try.
Hosting could be arranged, and if you get some income, it'll start paying for itself. Until it does, get a cheap hosting plan. amxhost.com offers 7GB transfer for $4 US/month.
At least, that's probably what I'd do.
The cake used to be a lie like you, but then it took a portal to the deception core.