CAA: Christian Anime Alliance

This isn't really a prayer request, I just didn't know where else to put this. If someone wants to lock it to prevent discourse on the topics involved that is fine, but I needed to let this out somewhere.

Monday night I got drunk. So drunk that I blacked out in a bar, fell over, knocked over my table, and slightly hurt myself on some broken glass. This happened because I'm incredibly overstressed. My stress stems from a number of things, but mostly from work. For those of you not aware I am a 911 operator/dispatcher for a large metropolitan area. I deal with a large number of people who are in crisis situations. This places a very large load on me psychologically. Add this to a number of issues I've had growing up, ranging from multiple separations from my father due to his military deployments, to active war zones to psychological/"spiritual" abuse by a series of churches that I attended for a long time that I can't seem to fully get over; plus the fact I was diagnosed with a mild form of clinical depression when I was 15 that I have not been medicating for the last 10 years.

I have no buffer for the stress I'm under now. I don't expect any kind of real suggestions from anyone here about this as most of you have no experience with what I'm dealing with, and I'm not really asking for prayers for obvious reasons (and I just couldn't think of a more appropriate place to put this thread).

I've really have no idea what to do, I hope most of you can forgive me for some of the angry outbursts I've had over the last year or so since I kind of know where they're coming from now, and I also ask you be patient with me because they're probably not done yet and I haven't gotten control over everything. I'm still trying to figure out everything that is going on.

Could you possibly seek help/understanding/counselling? from someone who does have experience with what you're dealing with?

The people I know who would understand what I'm going through are people I don't feel at all comfortable talking to about any of this. And the counselor for the department is the police chaplain. I have no problems with the man personally, but there is a theological gap that I'm not sure would be able to be bridged.

Xeno wrote:The people I know who would understand what I'm going through are people I don't feel at all comfortable talking to about any of this. And the counselor for the department is the police chaplain. I have no problems with the man personally, but there is a theological gap that I'm not sure would be able to be bridged.

Concerning the counselor for the department, you will never know until you try. As it seems now, you are in no better state by not talking to him. And if you realize it won't work out, then just quit meeting with him.

Echoing what drill said, go ahead and talk to the chaplain. Despite the theological gap I would think the counseling approach he will take will be rather secular (he is working in a secular institution after all) with maybe the most religious thing being that he'll ask to pray for you and if you say no, I think he would respect that. If he doesn't then you can always go somewhere else but it sounds like some sort of counseling would help you a lot.

On top of this, I would recommend the usual things to relieve stress if you aren't already doing them. Go running when you can if you aren't already. Maybe try meditation or yoga or something. Find something that allows you to relax and do it. Preferably not alcohol not because a beer every once in a while is bad or getting drunk occasionally is an unpardonable sin but for the more obvious reason that relying on a substance like alcohol to deal with the stress of your job. Just to be clear, I recognize that I don't understand what you are going through exactly but I understand enough to understand your decision to get drunk on Monday. If I had a job like yours I honestly cannot say if I would or wouldn't do the same myself.

As someone who has attended counseling sessions, I can say while one's faith may be brought up during the session, the counselor only listens and sometimes encourages prayer if the client shares that it's part of his/her life and helps in past similar situations.

That being said, I don't feel the chaplain would impose his beliefs onto you in offering advice or feedback.

I work in a locked residential treatment facility for juvenile sex offenders. They mostly come from trauma backgrounds and all have a variety of severe emotional and behavioral issues. So when it comes to having a bad work day, I can *absolutely* relate. It's a different line of work, sure, but just like you, I'm dealing with a repeat crises issues (I've had numerous bruises, black eyes, scratches, and trips to the ER for x-rays) and it's definitely tough work and I can relate with the psychological toll it has on somebody.

That all being said, obviously your stress levels are completely high. And while I think it's perfectly acceptable to go get drinks as a way of self-care, obviously blacking out and getting injured by some glass is beyond the point of self-care. Do you have health benefits at work? If so you should be able to find a local licensed professional counselor or mental health service provider. I'm all for you talking to your chaplain (I doubt he's going to impose religion onto you) but I'm worried that the most you will really get from him is primary encouragement or "life-coaching". That's fine and all but you really want someone who can provide a treatment plan that includes a lot of stress-reduction techniques. Things like mindfulness practices do absolute wonders for stress (and they're all seriously backed-up by research). Look up the following:

Mindfulness-based stress reduction (MBSR)
Mindfulness-based cognitive therapy (MBCT)
Dialectical-behavioral therapy (DBT)
Acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT)

Then go see if there are any local providers who apply those techniques into their practice. Other therapeutic frameworks could possibly be used if you want to explore your past experiences in life (relational-cultural, existential, etc).

By the way I'm a clinical mental health counseling grad student so I might have a bit of expertise on this. =p

What MSP said. The chaplain probably can only lend an ear, which is still worth something, but these suggestions would actually give you tools to deal with the stress.

I appreciate all the suggestions from everyone. I'm going to look at approaching the unit's chaplain to see if there is anything he can do to help, or at least if he would be able to point me in the right direction. Thanks for the therapy suggestions MSP, I'll look those up and see if any of those look like something I might get some kind of benefit out of. And to answer a couple questions, yes I do have medical insurance coverage, however, what it covers when it comes to psychological treatment is kind of vague, and then on top of that most of the counselors in my area that I've at least known of aren't all that interested in taking insurance. But I'm at a point now where I'm not sure that I can really afford to put off seeing someone for too much longer due to how self-destructive some things have become.

Again, I do appreciate the suggestions everyone.

Xeno wrote:I hope most of you can forgive me for some of the angry outbursts I've had over the last year or so since I kind of know where they're coming from now, and I also ask you be patient with me because they're probably not done yet and I haven't gotten control over everything.

Nope. I will never forgive you. And patience is out of the question.
In all seriousness, though; thanks for sharing, and I hope you find the right solution for all your stress sooner than later.
That said, I have no advice or words of wisdom for you, since like you said I have no experience in this area. Just know that I'm rooting for ya.

Hi Xeno, your job is very stressful.

Besides the suggestions above, I think if you have some close friends that you could confide in, it would help a lot.

Are there some hobbies that you could participate in a social setting? I find that taking my mind off work and being occupied with something else helps. Of course, my job is nowhere near as stressful as yours.